so today is an anniversary

do you call it an anniversary, though? i always thought an anniversary was a cause for celebration. not one of inherent heartbreak. it seems so preposterous, for me to be so upset, i didn't know anyone personally, who died, nor even through six degrees. but i simply cannot help but feel heartache just the same. I teeter back and forth- trying to forget, and hoping to never forget. if i am not careful, i will work myself into such a state that i'll really need medical attention. then i wish and wash back and forth between guilt over my complete fear of remembering and fear of forgetting.

Then i wonder how here at work we can be so blasé about the whole day- today we have a sales meeting. can you belive it? a meeting dedicated to figuring out way in which we can sell people more product which they truly do not need. But what else can we do? we have to live, we cannot buckle. people have birthdays today. people have wedding anniversaries today. those are real celebrations.

I just cannot get my head around that anyone would want to do something like that to any one. Aside of the fact that it was America who was attacked; September 11 was horrible. the subsequent bombings in madrid were horrible, the bombings in london were horrible, and the recent foiled plan in london were horrible. the situation in lebanon and israel is horrible, and the war in iraq is horrible. the bottom line is that hate breeds hate, and if allowed to continue, human kind will cause its own destruction.

if september 11 taught us anything, it is that we are never ever going to share the world's ideals. nor is the world interested in sharing ours. so what of that? how do we move on from the mutual exclusivities? Can we move on from them? All i can do is make my best effort to do so. i can learn about people, and i can learn to appreciate and celebrate such differences. surely that is possible? if i cannot celebrate a difference, then i can work to understand it and accept it.

i suppose my efforts are just one drop in a bucket, but i am going to make them anyway. and you can't stop me! You can join me if you like though. i wish you would in fact.

the little girl on 60 minutes last night said it best- you cannot kill love.