well, that settles it.

i cannot have a cat. i'm simply not emotionally prepared. i was driving to work today and there was a big pile of road kill near the cumberland farms. and as i drove by, i just had to look to see what it was, and it was a black cat! can you believe it? a black cat. i haven't seen my black olive in quite some time, since it got cold and snowy really, so i was hoping that he went south for the winter. but seeing the dead cat in the road makes me wonder. And it really makes me unhappy too.

my last hope against hope is that it's somewhat far away from my apartment building, so maybe it's not him. but on the other hand, it's not really that far away, only 1/3 of a mile or so, so it's not too inconceiveable that he would go down there.

oh gosh, i hope it's not my black olive. but then on the other hand, that just means that it's someone else's, and that doesn't make me feel one bit better. so today i am going to be an unhappy person, and it might be for nothing.

So i can't have a cat. i don't want an indor cat, they stink up the house, and it really is clear that i can't have an outdoor cat on the road i live on. it's just too busy.

sigh.