The Whole Milk Whodunnit

Methinks someone here at work is stealing my milk.At first i thought well, you must be imagining things; you must've had more cups of tea than you thought. Well, then it started to be whole glass amounts less than what i left it at. So, i set about laying traps so i could determine if indeed someone is stealing la leche. I decided to mark where the milk measured in the bottle after my last use (I marked it in permanent marker, the same color as the bottle label, so the perpetrator wouldn't notice i was on to them).

Sure enough, this morning, upon arrival to work, the milk is lower than yesterday's mark. A-ha! well, now i have to step it up a bit, i have to make the mark in a color that is noticeable to the perpetrator. so i marked it in black marker. 40 minutes later the milk is lower again! Sacre Bleu!


Sometimes the milk has my name on it, other times it doesn't. I don't know if that's a significant theft deterrent. But since the Hannaford Whole Milk in the corner of the fridgerator often times has my name on to, wouldn't you think the ones without a name might be mine too? I know, I know, it's terribly childish for me to be so indignant. But on the other hand, it's not really polite of the person doing so either. I suppose I should just get over it, it's only a couple of ounces of milk. But why should I be the one to get over it? As a matter of fact it's more than just a couple of ounces, it's gotten to be so that it's probably close to a half-pint of milk every week. I don't buy the milk so other people can drink it.

And besides that, it's fucking rude! Stop drinking my milk!