on being alumni

so every year around this time there is the alimni game at my college. it's when all of us greaduated softballers go back and play the current team. it's really quite fun, then we all get together and eat. (the alumni get to reminisce, and the current players get to have a suitable meal for a chage)

so when the alumni game takes place, i dread it. i always dread it. i get these attacks of anxiety and self doubt, even though it's easier to go to the alumni game than it was to go to college. college for me was very lonesome. and it's funny how even just walking onto campus makes me feel profoundly all by myself. then i get there and i have fun and i chuckle to myself that i was nervous to go.

so anyway, i love to go the alumni game, except that even though we are old and mostly retired players, it is still NOT ACCEPTBLE to make errors. so we still need ice after the game.

but when i do go back, i get to reminicsing and all that fun shit.

but i want everyone to go to the website, and if you live in the area, go check out a game, it really is top drawer sports.

softball

and there are big shake ups in the soccer program there too. i'm pleased that coach McGuigan is still there in the men's program, but i am slightly surprised that he's an assistant now. Still it is good that Coach barosso is now the head coach of the men's program, because those two would make a good coach combination.

women's soccer

far away places

I love the idea if travelling. if i had even a tiny bit moremoney, i would use it to go places. i've been to london, scotland, ireland, Lisbon, and spain. i've also been to california, nevada, arizona, hawaii, and up and down the eastern coast. i just love to go to places that are not where i live. i'm not sure if its because being on holiday is better than being at work, or something else, but i love to go to see new places, and get a map, and learn the culture and personality of the the place.

i like to go to a far away place, and insert myself into its every day life. i imagine it's some sort of escapism, you know anywhere is better than here sort of thing.

in any event, i like to check up on the places i've visited to see how they are getting on without me. so here are some snap shots:

this is in dublin, where my mother and i had a row because we couldn't figure out where we were and were and how we got to where we wanted to go.



also in dublin we heard the word that a-rod had agreed to the trade to the Yankees. we were just like americans- shouting and shouting more about how the yankees made us so mad!

this is in london, my friends and i stayed in a slightly sketchy hotel down the street from bayswater road, right by hyde park. it was not many stars, but who cares? a seven night stay including air fare and taxes cost just $400. you can't really beat that.



in london i dropped a mitten on one of the double decker buses, i didn't notice it until i was off in picadilly circus. i was so upset! but then there was a tap on my shoulder, and there was a man there who had gotten off at the next stop and doubled back to find me (clearly i was a tourist, in a bright blue jacket) and return it to me. that one single gesture reinforeced my belief that people can be good if they choose to be so.





and here is lisbon, i had a fantastic time in lisbon with my friend and her family. such a good time.

take a tour of beautiful lisbon

heart wrenching story, really

so here is the terrible story of the baby who was accidentlly poisoned at a cook out a few summers ago.

http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2005/09/20/case_of_babys_arsenic_death_brings_wrenching_testimony

i read this this morning and my head began to swirl with thoughts. really, how could he mistake rat poison for spring water, wouldn't it smell? but then i thought, but why would he do that? did those parents make him so mad that he would want to kill their child? oh god, but it gets worse and worse! they lost their child by taking him off life support. how awful. but this guy is an old man, and he made this terrible mistake. how equally awful. there is no happy ending possible for anyone involved in this story. just considering the possibilities makes me almost sick with sadness.

but then, as if that weren't bad enough, i have to worry about how i would react if something terrible like that happened in my family. oh gosh, i could worry myself right out of productivity at work if i am not careful.

i guess all i can do is pray for these people. all of them. If prayers were ever needed, this is the situation.

hoo hoo hoo!

yay! i got tickets to the Fighters of Foo on friday! Yay! i had to settle for seats. I really wanted to get the General Admission section. but no luck. a friend of mine has GA Tickets, and i'm hoping to convince him that i should go with him, and i'll unload my seats. I got the seats because i wanted to be sure i would get to go. last year they came to the Fleet pavilion, and i wasn't able to score tickets, so this year I said self, get those tickets no matter what the cost!

I love the foo fighters. i like to think i have outgrown my facination with rock and roll stars, but come on, the foos, man! i saw them once at the paladium, and it was rockin. i just love how clever and crafty and rockin and they are. just enough rock, and just enough slow, and just the right amount of politial soapboxing for me. i dig them.

plus they're easy on the eyes. i realize that they look slightly unkempt and like they haven't taken a shower for a few days, but that is a carefully crafted look, and i dig it. think of joe strummer in 1979. he was dead sexy. and consider trent reznor, even though he's looking a bit older than i remember, he's dead sexy too. and there's the guys from the bouncing souls, and pete yorn too! and jakob dylan.

sigh.

i guess i haven't outgrown my facination with rock and roll stars.

i love internet radio

so here is my unsponsored advertisement. you should check out www.radioiorock.com it's an internet radio station. this guy robert goodman streams radio. i can't tell if it's pre-recorded and he just uploads a zip cartrdge, or if he's got some sort of real elaborite studio or what, but he plays good music. it's really alternative. lots of smiths, and the cure, franz ferdinand, and emo like crazy. but he mixes in some real good brit pop and weird and wacky stuff like paul anka's rock swings album. he's got some real good stuff on there.

tuth be told i would like him to play some stuff he hasn't gotten to yet, like more bouncing souls, the explosion, millencolin, clash, flogging molly and the like, but i really can't complain. it's easily as good as my beloved 'fnx. (they stream too, but it doen't work so well on this workstation www.wfnx.com) i never ever hear the same song twice, the same artist sure, but never ever the same song in one day. it's really quite good.

oh, right now it's Johnny Cash's Personal Jesus. a really good mix of alt stuff. i dig it.

three games up

ah, baseball in september. yesterday tim wakefiled was poetic. he struck out 12! twelve! and that home run that giambi hit was ugly, but it went out, and so it counts.

you can't even know how badly i wanted wakefield to win, and how badly i wanted Randy Johnson to lose. he's a prat. sure he pitches well, and the yankees play well, but i cannot stand them. the same way many NY fans cannot stand the Sox. it's just how it is. and that's ok.

so now we're three games up in the AL East, but i'm nervous for the yankees to play Tampa. Tampa has owned them all season long, and it might be that they are tired of playing the laughingstock against the Devil Rays, so they just might sweep them. that could be very problematic for the sox.

the sox are going to toronto, where we have not really played well this season, so that could be problematic too. but schilling was lights out over the weekend, and for that matter so was wakefield, so i'm begining to be less concerned with the pitching than i was a week or so ago, i just hope that we don't go into a terrible hitting slump, because that will be the kiss of death!

go check it out!

boston globe sox report

update!

so remember a few weeks ago i was whingeing on about my grandmothers purse? well it's been found! i guess i have to take back some (not all) of the naughty things i said in that post. the purse isn't really very beautiful and she used it so much that it really is quite worn, but she loved it so much. it even smells like her old apartment. it's quite sweet really. it's totally not my style, so i can pretty well honestly say that i'll never use it, but if i do a craft fair to sell my made bags, then i'll use it to keep the money in.

reminiscing

when i was in college there was a small circle of people that i considered my friends. there were not too many of them, and that's ok, i don't mind. they were all very important at the time. whether they are now or not is irrelevant, they were very important to me at the time. i think that college in general is a time of life that is taking place without you even realizing it, and before you know it, it's gone, and you don't even realize how important people are, or events and non-events for that matter.

in any case, my friend russ is of italian and scottish decent. he was fiercely protective of both his parent's geaneology. but in a way that only college kids can be- slightly chip on the shoulder, slightly informed, but not totally aware. so he would sprinkle the limited italian that he knew into his slang. the swears and the things like that. many of the rest of the circle were frequently referred to as Stoonod.

so fast forward to today, and i was at work at the pharmacy with paul, and we were generally complaining about people, and lo and behold they are stoonods! i asked if that was a real word- he said of course! it's italian!

so it got me to thinking about how thre are lots of things you learn in college that are so much more useful than you learn in class, or than you can imagine at the time.

:)

women drivers, no survivors?

Here it is, my complaint against drivers of the world. and all those people who say women are bad drivers (i.e. men) can go screw.

so yesterday i was driving home from work, after a particularly crummy day, and i see in my rear view that a fire truck is on its way up the street. well, i arrive at the red light as it's about a 1/2 mile or so behind all of us. but then the light turns green. and what does prick-boy in the car behind me do? he waves at me and creeps forward and then, passes me! he passes me! jerk. Of course i rightously stay where i am and allow the F.T. to go by, and then i continue on my way. The man in the super cool sedan is now in front of me. so i take this opportunity to let all the shit from the day at work wash over him in a wave of blue words and waving hands and Larry Glick salutes. it was very therapeutic.

so what is the moral of this story? i'll tell you: Probably there's no survivors with any drivers. we are a society of careless drivers. myself included. probably if you are reading this at work, you drove too fast to get there, or you didn't really look twice at that left hand turn. i drove too fast to get here this morning, and my tirade against super cool sedan man involved lots of emotion and not much control. i don't know what is the solution, considering that sometimes it seems like the very people assigned to protect us while traveling (the fuzz) are not around when those people are racing up 495, or that jerk passed us on the right in a right turn only lane. or even when that crazy girl is sending lemon faces to the guy in front of her.

i guess i can only start with myself, and be more careful when driving. how about you? are you up to the challenge of more careful driving?

the other cat

well, for a day or two i haven't seen the cat. i have to admit i was a bit disappointed. but last night my brother sean came over to chat for a minute after work, and he said, here's your buddy the cat. Really? Yay! i haven't seen him- wait; no, that's not stripe. that's a different cat! this one is little too. and it's a long hair. i wouldn't really place an order for a long hair cat, but it's very cute. it's got gold eyes. stripe has gray eyes. I would like these two cats to stay. if i'm completely honest, i would say that i am a lonesome person a little bit. and besides heating oil is going to be a remarkable expense this winter and i might be nice to have a cat at my feet. i think i would settle on calling stripe Stripe, but what to call the other one? i could call him ink, but then people might be mean and call him dink. that's no good. perhaps i'll call him olive. like black olive. i think so.

i hope they stay.

my latest bag

i love bags. i make them all the time. i don't even use all of the ones i make, i just make them, and make them, and make them! I get all sorts of fabric, and just hoarde it. i love it. it might just be becoming an obsession. i'll have to get a craft fair table this year, just so i can unload some of them.

this one is a japanese sort of fabric. I love the black and red together. I was going to use a fabric with kanji (i think that's the word) characters for the lining, but i think this looks better- the kanji would have been much too busy.

the striped cat

There's this cat that comes to visit my apartment. he's striped, and he's got a long tail. i confess, i hope he's homeless, because i wish him to be mine. i used to think of myself as a dog person, but i've come to the decision that i don't want a dog. i'm not afraid of them, they just drive me nuts. I cannot stand a dog that has bad manners, or barks all the time, or shits on my lawn, or chases after people and acts generally discourteous toward visitors.

But worse than rude dogs are rude owners. Exactly when did the shift take place making the non dog people have to put up with the dogs that do things like that? Why is it wrong for a family to call the dog officer on an incessantly noisy dog? or why should i be made to feel guilty when i visit my mother and the resident dog barks and growls at me? Why should a dog be able to attend a cookout at a cousin's house when more than one other guest is genuinely afraid of dogs? and for that matter, why is said phobia dismissed as non-existent and thus not important?

I want nothing to do with dog owners of such ilk, and therefore, i want nothing to do with dogs.

but in any event, i want this cat to stay. i will be very upset if he belongs to someone. but he comes over at night, and he's kind of wily, you know with the tail whipping back and forth; and he's never really calm, he's always on the lookout. he's super skinny, and he's kind of dirty.

i usually just call him Guy. but i have considered the name Fungo, and Fenway. i like fungo, because only baseballers and softballers will get it. But then i like fenway too, but i don't want people to think i jumped on a band wagon (i've been a fan for many years). sometimes i call him stripe.

I hope he stays.

it's a four alarm fricasee

boy this heat is killing me!

so what do you do when it's 100˚ and as muggy as you can remember?

well, you make things with swirly velvet fabric of course! so i made this great purse this weekend. It's for a swap, i hope my partner doesn't see this before she rececives it, i haven't posted this blogspot on craftster yet, so i think it will be ok.

this sort of fabric usually would turn me right off, but i have to reluctantly admit that i'm beginning to dig it a little bit. it's got tons of texture, and all those colors are really cool. i wish that it came in black, because it would look really great in black with some color accents. it would look like that hand bag that my grandmother used for best special occasions. i think it was made of sheepskin. I'm pretty sure my dad gave it to her when he was a senior in high school, all those years ago. I wonder wht happened to that handbag, i hope that my cousins didn't get their hands on it when they were clearing out her apartment. They threw whole rooms right into the trash. there wasn't too much that was actually monetarially valuable, but there was lots of stuff like that handbag that shouldn't have gone in the trash, but it was done and gone before we even knew about it. sigh.

so here is the purse. it's a good purse, with a zipper pouch to go along with it.

continuing education

i'm shocked at how we've become such sheep. if we don't peg ourselves correctly upon graduation from high school we're screwed. foolishly when i was in high school i didn't think i was smart enough to be a scientist. and nobody ever told me i was. so now that i'm 30 it occurs to me that i am too smart to be only an artist, and yet not creative enough to be only an artist. but i'm screwed because i have wasted so much time in an industry and a job that has no real chance for progression and advancement. but it's hard to go back to school, not least because i've learned to like not being a student, but also because i've developed a real tie to having a job. it's not just that i would have to give up cable and my cell phone- i have a mortgage, and insurance and a car payment, and all that happy horseshit that happens to a person after they rushed to graduate from college.

how am i going to go back to a full time college program, and yet still afford to pay all those things? the answer? i'm not. i can't. it's almost impossible. i could cry right now. i mean really cry. i am so screwed and stuck in a dead end situation and there is really no hope of getting out of it.

i think i might be having another midlife crisis.

so this is a blog

it seems strange to have a blog. and in fact, i think i really hate that word blog. it doesn't really roll off the tongue any easier than web log does. but in any event the whole world has a blog, so i think i should get one too. so here it is. as i am at work right now, i need to hurry up and post this so i can get back to work.

grumble

so now i keep getting a 404 error when i try to look at this dumb thing. sometimes i hate technology, i feel so trapped by it!